Saturday, November 27, 2010

We're back (again).

Can you feel it? The world has always been spinning, but never before now have the casual revolutions of Earth been so dizzying. With each day, we push further from sanity, while the enormity and complexity of society keep us perplexed. How are we, the people, to rake through the muck, and make sense of the ebb and flow of life in all its hilarity? Unfortunately, unlike Brett Favre with a camera phone, mainstream media is not so blunt with its intentions. Our informers are afraid to express honest opinion. They’ve left us to run around, searching for anyone to tell us what to think.

The time has come to retire from your searches, and rest your weary head.

The boys at Who are you, Karim Garcia? are re-lacing their gloves for a final bout with popular culture. While it may be lewd, even criminal to send pictures of your half-staffed cock to unsuspecting reporters, you can’t say Favre’s motives weren’t honest. When James Cameron forced the world to measure his dick for seven straight hours in three dimensions, we didn’t debate suspending his right to make shit films – we nominated him for an Oscar. Are we to punish honesty and reward those who shamelessly gloat?

I say no. I say we stand for something more. I say Elin Nordegren doesn’t deserve $100 million, that Roman Polanski is innocent*, that Stuart Scott is a handsome man, and that we are tired! We are tired of being told that The Decision was anything more than an exercise in narcissism. We are tired of NBC’s “Outsourced” (already). But most of all, we are tired of being quiet.

I say we send the world a message – a picture message in fact.

*He’s probably not.

No comments: