Tuesday, November 30, 2010


I love me some Big White Clouds. Click the link, head on over and give your ears an orgasm. Big ups to Big White Clouds.

Ps. Starting tomorrow Ill be posting a morning wake-up jam. Anything from out-of-your-brain stuff like Animal Collective to some old school Hip Hop. Only catch is I'll be posting when I wake up unless one of the other members of The Klan beats me to it. So do yourself a favor and get on my awesome sleep schedule.

Roles that Time Forgot: Commander John J. Adams

Yesterday the great comic actor Leslie Nielsen died from complications from a bout of pneumonia. While Nielsen was mainly famous for his excellent comedic performances in Airplane and the Naked Gun movies, many do not know that he was a well respected dramatic actor at the beginning of his career. One of his first feature film roles was that of Commander John J. Adams in the film Forbidden Planet, a 1955 Sci-Fi film chronicling a group of military astronauts as they travel to the planet Altair to search for survivors of an exploratory mission twenty years earlier.

Forbidden Planet is famous for being the first film to have a score entirely composed of electrical instruments and components. Louis and Babe Barron created most of the score using the electrical instrument the theremin, which is played by moving your hands closer and further from two electrical antennae. It is actually a very interesting instrument to watch being played, so if you are intrigued just search for it on youtube and prepare to be amazed. The score is worlds away from anything I had ever seen before in a film, and it is a very enlightening to watch a film that shies away from using pop songs or a full orchestra to drive the emotion of the scenes. The electrical bleeps and bloops create a feeling of emptiness, which helps build tension on a planet where it seems life does not exist.

The film is worth seeing for the score alone, but it also has an excellent performance from the aforementioned Nielsen as the Commander J.J. Adams. The film only has a few main characters, which means a lot of screen time for Nielsen and he does an admirable job portraying a space captain trying to mention order amongst a crew of genetically superior males alone on a foreign planet, while also trying to solve the mystery of the monster terrorizing them. It is a little weird watching the man who played Frank Drebin act seriously at the beginning of the film, but once you accept that Leslie Nielsen isn't going to have any great one-liners, it becomes far easier to enjoy this Sci-Fi classic.

So put Forbidden Planet on the top of your Netflix queue, and celebrate Leslie Nielsen's life and enjoy one of the premier films that helped jump-start the popularity of the Sci-Fi genre.

PS: It is also the debut performance of Robby the Robot, so if you hate Sci-Fi, at least enjoy a badass robot.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Hold The Phone! Topanga Lawrence Is Not Dead!!!

HOLY MOTHER Topanga Lawrence is alive! Seriously though where was this chick for the past 9 years? Boy Meets World might have been the most iconic TV show ever aired. If you didn't watch this show on ABC TGIF every friday night throughout the late 90s you must not have had television. Regardless, it seems as though all those kids careers are in a porto-potty tank at this point. Best thing for any of them to do right now is make a porno. Who wouldn't watch Topanga and Corey get it on in a hotel room in Miami? If the answer isn't every person under the age of 25 I've lost all faith in humanity. Count me in with a box of tissues and some Jergens.

PS. Toddlers & Tiara's might be composed of the most worthless human beings outside of 16 and pregnant. Thus, it might be must watch television. This lass Mckenzie already knows this will be the most triumphant moment of her life and she's taking full advantage.

USA Women Get North Korea In World Cup!

So the Women's World Cup goups were drawn today, and as the fates would have it, The good ol' US of A is gonna duke it out with those son of a bitch North Koreans. Where better to unleash this battle of good and evil than the most anticipated event of 2011. I mean forget the Miracle on Ice, these two teams have more tension between them than Lebron and Coach Spoelstra right now. Hopefully FIFA reconsiders, because let's face it, a loss in the Women's World Cup group stage is a defeat that no country could afford to suffer, especially one trying to start beef with America and South Korea. Which brings me to my next point, South Koreans better have the next 10 planes for wherever the hell the Women's World Cup is booked to the roof to come cheer for America. I mean you want us to help you out, we better get your help in scratching out a W vs these MoFo's.
OK you know a match like this is gonna be a scrappy one. Each team has a lot of pride and a lot to prove, specifically that women's sports deserve national attention. The Americans are coming in with the #1 seed, N. Korea at #6. The Americans have a lot going for them though, with better athletes, more skilled players, freedom, and no fear of death if they lose. North Korea has an air tight discipline from years of strictly enforced government oppression.
I know one thing if I'm the American coach, I'm dropping my worst player and signing Elizabeth Lambert ASAP. This match is gonna get physical early, and we'll need a bruiser if we wanna have keep up appearances as the baddest country on the block.

My guess - USA inspires the country with a 4-0 win, giving South Korea and the US the spark they need to take out a newly deflated North Korea

A note on movie reviews

As you, the avid reader of Who are you, Karim Garcia? are well aware, this blog has historically been sports oriented. While our roots remain intact, we feel it would behoove us to branch out and cover more than just a bunch of overpaid fit men running around, strutting their stuff for the camera for millions of viewers. So I will be conducting film reviews, to either praise or pan the latest work from… uh, a bunch of overpaid fit men strutting their stuff in front of the camera for millions. It is my hope to conduct a few reviews a week in a couple of different categories. They are as follows:

1) The oldie but goodie (or it might suck) – I will find a flick that could be reasonably considered “old” and tell you what I thought of it. It may be a “classic” that very well deserves its praise (The Third Man, 1949, Carol Reed) or one that doesn’t (The Snake Pit, 1948, Anatole Litvak).

2) Playing now – Because I’m broke as a joke, it may not be playing now, but it will be relatively new. Basically, in this section, you can find out before wasting a day that James Cameron’s 2009 epic Avatar drowned in its own hype. Conversely, I hope to expose you to films like David Michôd’s Australian crime story, Animal Kingdom, which was one of the best flicks of 2010, though you probably hadn’t heard of it.

3) Where the hell did that come from? - Here, my intentions are simple. Chances are, you haven’t heard of the flicks I’ll talk about here. No time period limitations or anything like that. There are far too many hidden gems in the world that have gone unrecognized for too long. Those films are about to receive a Karim Garcia endorsement in this section.

I also might ignore all of these categories and talk about a flick that doesn’t necessarily fit into any of them. If you agree or disagree with my take on a movie, let me know. If you have a movie in mind that, gosh darn it, you just need to know my take on it, let me know.

I should note, I have not studied film extensively, but have had a life long interest. So fear not. You will not find boring jargon and over analysis – just a casual take from a self proclaimed cinephile.

The Walking Dead- Wildfire

Season 1- Episode 5

After the intense Zombie attack on the main camp at the end of last week's episode, it makes sense that the show would take a break from Zombie encounters and deal with the repercussions of the group's somewhat peaceful life being disturbed. However, those who expected a quick exit from camp and the search for a new home to dominate the episode were incorrect. As Lori said to Daryl as the group buried those they lost in the attack, "We all need time to mourn and to bury our dead, that's what people do," and that is what the viewers needed as well.

The episode also allowed us to get back to one of my favorite aspects of the series, the accelerated aspect in which people must let go of loved ones, and how to deal with people as they turn into walkers. We saw this earlier with Morgan's inability to kill his zombie wife in the pilot, but since then we have avoided death altogether. This episode brought us several moments of poignancy, from Andrea refusing to let the group destroy her sister until she could wish her a birthday goodbye, to Glenn insisting that the bodies of group members be disposed of in a more humane way than those of unknown walkers. There was also talk about setting a standard of rules on how to deal with those inflicted with the disease. After all, where do you draw the line between trying to save someone you love, and protecting the living from potential zombie attacks. This episode encountered several of the potential ideas: the group destroying most of those bitten and killed right away, Andrea waiting until Amy reanimated to shoot her, and Jim being allowed to make his own decision on where his final resting place would be. I doubt any specific rules will be put in place, but it was nice seeing the survivors attempt to hang on to what little of humanity is left.

This leaves us with the other huge development of the episode, which is the existence of some sort of CDC operation attempting to eradicate the disease, even if it is just one person. Apparently the government declared a state of emergency called Wildfire as the zombies overran civilization, and the CDC locked down at all its locations looking for a cure. Rick and company set out to the military base and the episode ends with the door opening after Rick screams into the motion sensor camera for some much needed shelter. While the episode did not make any distinct claims on how close the CDC employee is to a cure (given the fact that his best preserved sample gets blown up in the episode, I'm guessing not close), it does inform us that this epidemic has spread across the globe and that there appears to be no country that has survived. I'm guessing this does not mean that there are not more fortified outposts and CDC centers still functioning, as in my opinion the hope for some sort of eradication of the disease is necessary for the show not to fall into too dark of themes. The never-ending threat of zombie attacks, and the terrible things people have to do to survive make the show dark enough, and without at least some hope for the resurrection of civilization "The Walking Dead" may become too bleak.

Still, even with the show providing some information on how the federal institutions are performing (poorly), next's week season finale looks like it will provide little closure. One of the main theme's of the show is that the zombie apocalypse has destroyed all of mankind's sense of trust and it appears both the CDC and military, if I saw that right, both are very reluctant to allow Rick and the group to stay underground. In some good news it appears that the great Lennie James will be reprising his role of Morgan Jones in the season finale. His performance in the pilot was amazing and I expect him to add yet another excellent personality to the group.

Grade: A-, there may have been no zombies, but this episode set the stage well for what looks like an intense finale.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

A Karim Garcia salute to Manute Bol. Gone, but only sometimes forgotten.

A Note on TV Recaps

One of the new functions of the revamped Who Are You Karim Garcia? blog will be weekly TV recaps of certain major TV shows. What TV shows you may ask? The TV shows that I, Pat Welch, watch every week and love both talking and writing about. Now most of these shows may be ones that you don't have any interest in, but I will be covering shows of all varieties so check in every week when I recap a show that you love.

As an aside, late November is a terrible time to start recapping TV. Most network shows are already one-third of the way through their seasons and are preparing to take a holiday hiatus. For the sake of brevity and sanity I will not be recapping any shows from the beginning of their respective season, but from the next new episode from this time and date. The only exception to this rule is "Chuck", which I am very far behind on and will recap from the beginning of Season 4. Also I will be recapping several shows that have either been cancelled or have completed their run on television, and if you have any suggestions of shows that you think I should catch-up on and review let me know in the comments section.

The TV Shows I will currently be reviewing: How I Met Your Mother, Chuck, Psych, Community, The Walking Dead, White Collar, Royal Pains, Futurama, Pushing Daisies (classic), Friday Night Lights

Saturday, November 27, 2010

The National Crooked Athletic Association (NCAA)

I’ve given up on the NCAA. Once an avid fan of both college football and basketball, I cannot sit here and tell you I truly care about either sport anymore. As a lad, I dreamed of being the next Andy Katz, a college basketball guru who interviewed big-name coaches and gave his insight on the ins and outs of the college game. I proclaimed college basketball my favorite sport to watch and follow and it really was not close. I went from six → midnight every time I saw the likes of Jared Dudley, Craig Smith, Sean Williams and the rest of that crazy-good 2006 Boston College basketball team take the court. Now, the lure isn’t totally gone but it’s on as much life support as Terry Schiavo pre-plug-pull.

The reason for this does not involve the athletes at all. Instead, the NCAA is completely responsible for my waning interest in their sports. A complete lack of any sensible, proper management has been displayed from the “company” that is the National Collegiate Athletic Association. Let me explain.

Say you worked for a company who literally refused to adapt to any sort of social, economic, technological change in our world. That company would file for bankruptcy faster than it takes Lindsay Lohan to make 3 lines disappear off a nightclub toilet. Well that company is the NCAA, but they cannot go bankrupt because they are funded by respective universities who know that their schools would become nearly extinct without collegiate sport. Essentially the NCAA never has to be a real business and make tough decisions because they understand they’ll always be funded.

So based on the information presented we know that:

1) The NCAA will always exist. And..

2) Because of this, as any company under these circumstances would, they take advantage of that fact.

Thus, bringing us to Cam Newton and, for that matter, any other speculation/allegation/violation that the NCAA has gone through. As you may know, Cam Newton is currently being accused of cheating on his exams at Florida, transferring out of Florida right before they found him guilty, and subsequently creating a pay-to-play program with his father for every school involved in the recruitment of him and allegedly taking between 100 and 180 G’s from recruiters before finally landing himself at Auburn. Color me impressed.

Now, the NCAA has undergone a formal investigation of Mr. Cam Newton and rightfully so. Yet, as we assume something will end up coming out of this, the investigation will likely conclude as Cam Newton is lighting up Alphonso Smith in the NFL. So when the NCAA in 5 years puts a bullshit bowl-ban on the Auburn football program and reduces its scholarships, it will be hurting student-athletes who had absolutely NOTHING to do with Cam Newton and probably never even knew the guy.

This type of thing happens over and over again in the NCAA.

• Pete Carroll and Reggie Bush leave fingerprints all over USC football. Carroll leaves USC and the NCAA punishes the new coach and his players by impacting a two year bowl-ban on USC. Makes sense right?
• Memphis basketball gets their scholarships reduced a year after the culprits (John Calipari and Derek Rose) leave the program. In essence the NCAA punished a school for something two people did who no longer have any association with that school. Makes sense right?
• UConn Basketball loses one scholarship for recruiting violations. You think Jim Calhoun is upset because his junior walk-on who averages less than a minute of playing time now has to pay for school instead of getting a free ride? Doubtful.

While the NCAA tries to show us it can flex their muscles and reprimand these schools, they do so in a completely backwards manner. Mostly hurting student-athletes who worked their ass of to play college sports and not the people that were involved in the crime. Until the NCAA fixes this, I will continue to slowly drift towards the professional game.


We're back (again).

Can you feel it? The world has always been spinning, but never before now have the casual revolutions of Earth been so dizzying. With each day, we push further from sanity, while the enormity and complexity of society keep us perplexed. How are we, the people, to rake through the muck, and make sense of the ebb and flow of life in all its hilarity? Unfortunately, unlike Brett Favre with a camera phone, mainstream media is not so blunt with its intentions. Our informers are afraid to express honest opinion. They’ve left us to run around, searching for anyone to tell us what to think.

The time has come to retire from your searches, and rest your weary head.

The boys at Who are you, Karim Garcia? are re-lacing their gloves for a final bout with popular culture. While it may be lewd, even criminal to send pictures of your half-staffed cock to unsuspecting reporters, you can’t say Favre’s motives weren’t honest. When James Cameron forced the world to measure his dick for seven straight hours in three dimensions, we didn’t debate suspending his right to make shit films – we nominated him for an Oscar. Are we to punish honesty and reward those who shamelessly gloat?

I say no. I say we stand for something more. I say Elin Nordegren doesn’t deserve $100 million, that Roman Polanski is innocent*, that Stuart Scott is a handsome man, and that we are tired! We are tired of being told that The Decision was anything more than an exercise in narcissism. We are tired of NBC’s “Outsourced” (already). But most of all, we are tired of being quiet.

I say we send the world a message – a picture message in fact.

*He’s probably not.